So I have been looking at my old tags. I think I have been wrong. It doesn't sound like me at all to think that what was just a crush on X could be love. Maybe I just classified it under the general category. Love is a bit beyond me just now, although some of my friends say they have it. To be fair to them, it seems genuine in two of their cases, one of them just doesn't know it yet though!
That's all for now.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Updates
Well, I looked at my blog today and was very impressed by the fact that I have actually got two comments! So thank you Beth and Dancing Queen - I took a look at your blogs as well - although I couldn't access DQ's profile for some strange reason. Anyway it also made me guilty about the fact that I only post about once a month, so I'm going to try and make that more frequent. But it's hard because....okay I looked away and started doing other stuff on the computer so I can't remember how that sentence ended. It shouldn't actually be that hard except for the fact that nobody except me knows that this blog exists (just remembered this is actually what I was going to say). Which is quite good because no one knows my innermost thoughts but I'd like some anonymous (well, people who I don't know) readers and commenters.
SO, nothing much has actually been happening. With friends, I've been feeling a little left out lately. When we got back from the school holidays an undisclosed amount of time back it just seemed like everyone was so close except me. Does anyone know a way to make friends confide in you and to get closer to them? Maybe I should start interacting with all my friends. And maybe I should confide in some of them too. I just realized I don't really tell them my secrets except for one or two. Love begets love and all that sort of thing? On the positive side I am making/ have made new friends from the new students who joined. New chances?
I have still not been doing much exercise because I am a lazy child. I should be doing much more exercise because I am not only getting pudgy, much more importantly I am also unhealthy. The problem is that I don't restrict my food, which is fine and good but I don't exercise either. You can see how that leads to problems.
The other day I had this sudden thought that maybe, just maybe I've been pushing myself down. What if X had also liked me but been to shy to tell me? When he asked me if the rumor that I liked him was true (so many years ago ;) ) I replied that that was the past. He was always a good friend and once when we were in the building where we used to live, he took me up onto the roof - unfortunately there were creepy creatures there and the visit was cut short - but what had he wanted to tell me away from everyone else? He always held my hand back and although he disentangled it when his family came in sight.......but there's really no point to this thinking. So what if after I left after my visit to *where he lives* he wrote on Facebook to his good friend wanting to talk about girls. Nothing ever happened, we live in different places now and nothing will ever happen (even though I secretly have dreams that some day in university we may meet).
The only reason that I have been thinking about him recently is because of stupid stupid mutual friend (actually she's really nice) who just joined our school. She thinks he's 'the coolest guy you will ever meet' and keeeeeeps *okay, I'm exaggerating* talking about him. AGH. They used to be really close apparently. PRAY TO (WHOEVER) he never ever told her much about me. Anyway I think me and her are going to be friends. She is nice, despite her untoward associations. ;)
And I just discovered that when the rest of my family went on a trip recently - I stayed back for important reasons which I can't disclose - they met him. HE WAS THERE the whole time with his family and not one of my family thought it important enough to tell me. No 'hey Anya (my nom de plume) we saw X in *wherever*'. YICK. They never knew I liked him of course, but he is part of a family who we are close to. Now I'm pretty sure that my quite perceptive mother has at least realized that fact given that I gaped for an entire moment after hearing that. It was just unexpected.
So that's all that's going on. What do you think? Basically to be honest here I'm just hoping you say he liked me. But I should get over it. The problem is guys here just look through me. Just as if I'm not there. To be fair some of them I haven't been introduced to but still....what happened to romance? Walking up to someone and striking up a conversation because you like them. I guess that I should get real. This is high school after all.
SO, nothing much has actually been happening. With friends, I've been feeling a little left out lately. When we got back from the school holidays an undisclosed amount of time back it just seemed like everyone was so close except me. Does anyone know a way to make friends confide in you and to get closer to them? Maybe I should start interacting with all my friends. And maybe I should confide in some of them too. I just realized I don't really tell them my secrets except for one or two. Love begets love and all that sort of thing? On the positive side I am making/ have made new friends from the new students who joined. New chances?
I have still not been doing much exercise because I am a lazy child. I should be doing much more exercise because I am not only getting pudgy, much more importantly I am also unhealthy. The problem is that I don't restrict my food, which is fine and good but I don't exercise either. You can see how that leads to problems.
The other day I had this sudden thought that maybe, just maybe I've been pushing myself down. What if X had also liked me but been to shy to tell me? When he asked me if the rumor that I liked him was true (so many years ago ;) ) I replied that that was the past. He was always a good friend and once when we were in the building where we used to live, he took me up onto the roof - unfortunately there were creepy creatures there and the visit was cut short - but what had he wanted to tell me away from everyone else? He always held my hand back and although he disentangled it when his family came in sight.......but there's really no point to this thinking. So what if after I left after my visit to *where he lives* he wrote on Facebook to his good friend wanting to talk about girls. Nothing ever happened, we live in different places now and nothing will ever happen (even though I secretly have dreams that some day in university we may meet).
The only reason that I have been thinking about him recently is because of stupid stupid mutual friend (actually she's really nice) who just joined our school. She thinks he's 'the coolest guy you will ever meet' and keeeeeeps *okay, I'm exaggerating* talking about him. AGH. They used to be really close apparently. PRAY TO (WHOEVER) he never ever told her much about me. Anyway I think me and her are going to be friends. She is nice, despite her untoward associations. ;)
And I just discovered that when the rest of my family went on a trip recently - I stayed back for important reasons which I can't disclose - they met him. HE WAS THERE the whole time with his family and not one of my family thought it important enough to tell me. No 'hey Anya (my nom de plume) we saw X in *wherever*'. YICK. They never knew I liked him of course, but he is part of a family who we are close to. Now I'm pretty sure that my quite perceptive mother has at least realized that fact given that I gaped for an entire moment after hearing that. It was just unexpected.
So that's all that's going on. What do you think? Basically to be honest here I'm just hoping you say he liked me. But I should get over it. The problem is guys here just look through me. Just as if I'm not there. To be fair some of them I haven't been introduced to but still....what happened to romance? Walking up to someone and striking up a conversation because you like them. I guess that I should get real. This is high school after all.
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