Over it

I've been thinking (cue applause) about it. I've been overanalyzing with friends who slowly grow sick of it. All I can think of are the same points. Over and over.

It seems like a cycle.

1. You visit, and I fall for you, or the vision I have of you, I don't know. But I know that I miss you when you're gone, and I can't sleep or work properly.
2. I tell myself I'm going to get over you. And eventually I think less and less about you, until I think I've forgotten you.

Rinse and repeat.

I've grown resigned now, expecting to like/ love you forever. Or till I go to college and get a hot new boyfriend. But then I read this manga. It was a part when the 'senpais' (older students) graduated, and left the club behind. It made me nostalgic, somehow reminding me of the times when we lived nearby and met everyday.

The next line really shook me though. Instead of talking about how they'll all meet in the future again and it'll be the same, it was about moving on and becoming the kind of senpais that others admire.

That night, I was listening to music in bed. Two or three songs played in succession that were all about moving on and letting go. Can't remember the names, but I got the message.

I'm trying my best now. I think friendship may be the solution. If I try just to be friends with you, maybe I'll stop expecting more and be happy with that. I think it might actually work, because I enjoy talking to you, and maybe I can realize you're not my dream guy after all, and you're not perfect.

I kind of know you're not perfect already.

(Sorry it's a little rambling and confused. In truth, I should be studying)

I'm a weirdo

Source: Online Education