Teenage Girl Time

So, I'm sorry to say this because I sound absolutely pathetic and stupid, for someone who got 2300 on the SATs (I must tell everyone!) but the following must come out.

I spoke to D today!!!!! For about 2 seconds. We were at a school event - graduation - and working at the drinks table with about 15 other people and I gave him a drink to put on his tray and he said "Can you give me one that's more filled?" or something of the sort, and I said "Sorry," and gave him another glass. He said "Thanks," and I pretended to be cool but I was SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEing inside. I sound totally sad and stalker-like but honestly his looks somehow have the weirdest effect on me. It's like X, but at least D is much better looking! He could ACTUALLY be a movie star.

Speaking of which, X is visiting soon. His family will be staying with us and I'm praying that I will not feel anything for him. D actually helps in that way. I know that nothing will ever happen with D but he's like a placebo. UGH I sound so terribly sad.

But I'm not that sad. Today evening I went for a party where there were moderately good looking guys but the party was awfully awkward and we didn't talk (not that we normally would have). After that I went with my friends to a restaurant (really more of a bar) and some guys who I didn't really know joined us. We ordered a few drinks (everyone was really nice about the fact that I don't drink and just accepted it) and I was a bit upset cause I wanted to spend some time with my friends, but after that more guys joined me and my 3 other girlfriends (not in a lesbian way) and it grew slightly better. I was surprised to find the guys actually knew my name (of course I knew theirs, I'm observant about people in general) and we had a decent time. I'm not used to hanging out with guys in a casual way and it was good! Guys do make good friends. The thing is, though, I'm not really interested in any of those guys, and although they're what might be considered semi-"popular" I don't think of them in that way. So no actual romantic opportunities there.

It's sad how sometimes (despite the fact that I think I'm a strong, fulfilled girl) I feel like I need a boyfriend. Someone to cuddle with and who would understand me perfectly. I cannot wait for college (but just for that, I don't want to leave my friends) sometimes.