Warning: the following post contains a detailed account of possible alcohol-fueled escapades. Nothing too dramatic - it is me we're talking about after all - but moderately embarrassing awkward moments. I never drink till I throw up, but I do become more talkative and clumsy and giggly than usual.
Firstly, I got tipsy both Friday and Saturday night. Friday night I wasn't so bad, because I drank mixed drinks slowly and having eaten before, and thus despite consuming more alcohol (the equivalent of about 5-6 standard drinks) than I did on Saturday night, I was mostly sober. I did go and hang out in S's room, where a bunch of guys usually hang out, and managed to listen to 'guy talk'.
Saturday night, on the other hand, I was drunker despite having drunk only the equivalent of 3 standard drinks. I suppose low tolerance is a good thing. Basically I was stumbling a decent amount, giggling a lot, feeling a little dizzy, and realizing I was saying a little more than I intended to but not much more. My friend made me some food, and I was in our common room where S was also present. I leaned on him a decent amount through the night, although I did warn him that it was because I was dizzy and that he could go whenever he needed to. Nevertheless, he stayed for a decent amount of time, which made me happy despite having little significance apart from being a good friend.
Sunday, I had decided to not Facebook chat G until he initiated the conversations, which he actually did - asking me to dinner. Sure, he lives on the other side of campus and was on my side and it was just in the dining hall, but I couldn't help having a little bit of hope. Dinner was actually pretty relaxed, and he got me to talk about myself, which I don't normally do as much. Even more luckily, most of our floor (who normally eats together on weekends) was actually away for various reasons so I didn't have them there in the dining hall watching me.
Since then, it's been mostly the same with both of them. I start slightly more conversations with G than he does, but we have nice chats. The other day, he randomly tried to convince me he was drunk while I was chatting with him (despite not being) and I was extremely confused because my friend who also knows him (but not that I'm interested) was telling me he was not drunk and I trust her, but he was doing his best to convince me and I believed him. And when I asked him about it the next day, he was just like "Gotta go". I got tipsy last night too and used S as support, leading this one guy on our floor to make crude innuendos, but neither of us paid much attention. And I forced S to go to bed because he had to wake up early in the morning, insisting I would be fine, which I'm happy about because I don't want to be over-dependent on him either.
You might be wondering how my feelings for the two of them relate. The short answer is that I have no idea. I know that I'm interested in both of them, probably more in S than G, but I'm just seeing how things go and trying to focus more on G. I had this strange reluctance about telling S about G, despite him normally sharing all his stories with me. I think there was some part of me that didn't want him to know I was interested in other guys, but there's no point to that anyway since I know clearly that he's interested in other girls. Anyway, he kind of knows now, but also that it's not really a big deal. And that's how it'll stay hopefully?
Firstly, I got tipsy both Friday and Saturday night. Friday night I wasn't so bad, because I drank mixed drinks slowly and having eaten before, and thus despite consuming more alcohol (the equivalent of about 5-6 standard drinks) than I did on Saturday night, I was mostly sober. I did go and hang out in S's room, where a bunch of guys usually hang out, and managed to listen to 'guy talk'.
Saturday night, on the other hand, I was drunker despite having drunk only the equivalent of 3 standard drinks. I suppose low tolerance is a good thing. Basically I was stumbling a decent amount, giggling a lot, feeling a little dizzy, and realizing I was saying a little more than I intended to but not much more. My friend made me some food, and I was in our common room where S was also present. I leaned on him a decent amount through the night, although I did warn him that it was because I was dizzy and that he could go whenever he needed to. Nevertheless, he stayed for a decent amount of time, which made me happy despite having little significance apart from being a good friend.
Sunday, I had decided to not Facebook chat G until he initiated the conversations, which he actually did - asking me to dinner. Sure, he lives on the other side of campus and was on my side and it was just in the dining hall, but I couldn't help having a little bit of hope. Dinner was actually pretty relaxed, and he got me to talk about myself, which I don't normally do as much. Even more luckily, most of our floor (who normally eats together on weekends) was actually away for various reasons so I didn't have them there in the dining hall watching me.
Since then, it's been mostly the same with both of them. I start slightly more conversations with G than he does, but we have nice chats. The other day, he randomly tried to convince me he was drunk while I was chatting with him (despite not being) and I was extremely confused because my friend who also knows him (but not that I'm interested) was telling me he was not drunk and I trust her, but he was doing his best to convince me and I believed him. And when I asked him about it the next day, he was just like "Gotta go". I got tipsy last night too and used S as support, leading this one guy on our floor to make crude innuendos, but neither of us paid much attention. And I forced S to go to bed because he had to wake up early in the morning, insisting I would be fine, which I'm happy about because I don't want to be over-dependent on him either.
You might be wondering how my feelings for the two of them relate. The short answer is that I have no idea. I know that I'm interested in both of them, probably more in S than G, but I'm just seeing how things go and trying to focus more on G. I had this strange reluctance about telling S about G, despite him normally sharing all his stories with me. I think there was some part of me that didn't want him to know I was interested in other guys, but there's no point to that anyway since I know clearly that he's interested in other girls. Anyway, he kind of knows now, but also that it's not really a big deal. And that's how it'll stay hopefully?
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